Salvation
by RatedRReanna
Summary: Stefan wrote a short diary entry on himself being a ripper. Season 3


Diary, October 21, 2011

I just fed. I have no one else to tell any of this too so why not write in down in my diary, I havent kept up on my writing anyway. It has been only been a few months since I have became "Ripper" again and I feel like it was one of the best choices Ive ever made. I understand all about hurting Elena, And Damon, And this person, So on. But It no longer should matter because I saved Damon and it was what I had to do. But no matter what I do anymore, Its only between someone's life and their death. Being "Ripper" Feels amazing, I actually feel powerful for once and everything is going strong. Im not the Stefan Salvatore everyone used to know, But this is truly what I am. Klaus took me in and made me a monster, Made me what every vampire should be, Something that only breathes for himself.

Her name was Natasha. I saw it on her ID and her phone. She was a beautiful girl and I absolutely feel no remorse, No sorrow, Nothing for what I had just done. Natasha. Natasha. I have to write her name at the top of the paper, Looks like Im going to have to keep my list in this diary for now on. Maybe I should just make a page and title it. "Stefan's Victims" "The Ones Who I Watched" "The Ones Who Shouldnt Have Been There" She had long blonde hair, She actually reminded me of Lexi. Oh sweet Lexi, How I miss you-Scratch that, I dont care. She was just an innocent teenager that went to a high school and one less girl in the whole town. Natasha was just walking through a park. Wrong place. Wrong time I guess. But Klaus has put me in this killing cycle and I cannot stop.

Elena. I'll start with the topic of her. She was the one thing I lived for, Breathed for, Or even I would have died for her. But now, Every feeling I had for her has completely disappeared. Its rather amusing watching her thinking she can save me from what Im becoming, But I dont want to be saved. She will run out of hope, Her and Damon. Lexi, Too much trouble for me lately. Helping Elena is her choice, But Stefan is gone. The definition of hope. The positive outlook on a circumstance that happens in a human's life. Im no longer human and as long as Klaus is around, The word positive shouldnt even exsist.

Damon. Where to even start with my dear brother? I think it's funny that I am the bad brother, The bad Salvatore and not him...Someone is becoming very jealous. I got into this mess because of him in the first place and you know what Im proud to say..Im glad that Jules bit him. I wouldnt be my old self again if it was for my human mind to run to Klaus. Trying to become the good brother and redeem himself is something that is going to rip him apart in the end. He can have Elena all he wants, But he should no that as long as their is hope for me, She wont go to him. Im actually smiling writing this because it is making me laugh. Down to blood, Damon and I will always be brothers...Until we decide to cut off eachother, Which I already did. He will help because he "Loves" Elena. He loves Elena because of Katherine, And Katherine has always wanted me, Not him. I was always the brother everyone liked...Its time for Damon to act like a savior for once.

Take a look at my old self, The Stefan Salvatore everyone knew. As a human, Father looked at me like a was a prize posession. Damon was always jealous of everything I had. I was the one that did everything right, And Damon just passed by with his looks and charm. Its ashame that Katherine wanted the both of us, It showed Damon a challenge for once. But here I am now. A completely different Stefan that everyone knew. Maybe the key to letting me go is to forget about me, To not remember any trace of Stefan. Damon, Elena. Let. Me. Go. There is nothing left to save of me, And nothing you can do. I want to live this life and not change a thing, A vampire is a monster. But some seek salvation, Im sure Damon already has. But what exactly is salvation? The act of saving or the means of being saved. Ive saved enough people from harm after my ripper years and Ive saved many from Damon. Have I truely, Really ever been saved? No, Lexi helped me past the ripper stage but the monster was always raging within.

Ive lived long enough to find out what the true meaning of life is. Being eternally dead gives me the power to do whatever I want and to be who I want to be. Turning emotions off is ten times better than having them on. Hurt becomes depression, Anger becomes rage, Emotions turn to emotionless. I dont have to deal with Damon being angry with me and blamingme for Elena, I dont have to worry about Elena, No more worrying about Klaus. I will always be one step ahead of everyone, Even Klaus. Katherine is part of it, Every single dead family member of Klaus is in my hands, And Im here to fianlly take him down. My brother wont stop me in accomplishing what Im doing. So here I am, Stefan Salvatore, The ripper. One can no longer control his bloodlust, The brother who is now reckless. The one who needs Salvation. 


End file.
